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Miami is Russia

by cfbmemes_
Similarities between Miami and Russia are kind of close.

It’s the offseason and it’s that time when we get into some wacky college football content to help us survive it. Today’s article is a little whacky, but honestly quite relatable. Talking politics here is something we want to avoid, but we have no problem hitting on a little bit of social science.

Today’s article is discussing the crazy similarities between Russia the county and Miami the football program. We are going to give you three aspects of how they are so similar. Once you read the three points, you will be shocked at how close they are. So let’s get to it and see how Miami the football program is closely related to Russia the Country.

#1 The Glory Days are Over

You can ask different college football fans their favorite ESPN 30 for 30, and I guarantee you a good percentage will say “The U”. This feature film focuses on the glory of The Miami Hurricane football program from the 1980s and into the 1990s. Four out of five national championships were won within that time period. The fifth national championship team came in 2001, very close to those eras.

Fast forward to 2023 and the Hurricanes are just tropical depressions. In the past ten seasons, they have ZERO Atlantic Coast Conference Championships, ZERO AP Top 10 finishes, and ONLY one bowl game win. The accolades are hard to find for the Miami Hurricanes.

Russia was a major threat to be the #1 superpower decades ago as they were part of The Soviet Union. It’s no secret to the person reading this article that the cold war existed between the United States and The Soviet Union. Just like Miami the wheels came off for The Soviet Union and it has never been the same.

From “glory” to now struggling in a war they started against Ukraine. The thought process of a dominating Russia is long gone. This tweet below is over a year old, but still reigns true.

#2 Students and Citizens have to travel far

The largest country in the world is Russia with a total area of 17,098,242 Km² (6,601,665 mi²) and a land area of 16,376,870 Km² (6,323,142 mi²). Moscow the capital of the country is on the European side, on the western end of the country. That means a lot of citizens in Russia would have a far journey to their own capital.

Take for instance if you’re a Russian citizen living in the major city of Yakutsk in the Siberian region, you would have a trek to Moscow. To drive there it would take 112 hours, with a total amount of 5,177 Miles.

Then you have the lovely students of Miami. While it doesn’t take them 112 hours to make it from the campus to Hard Rock Stadium, it does take a while. For players and students on campus, it takes about a thirty-minute drive from campus. For this to be your home stadium, it has to feel like an eternity to get to. The tweet below shows you how maybe a thirty-minute drive could be an obstacle to fans showing up.

#3 The Glory will NEVER Return

If The Soviet Union lost the arms race, well Miami has also lost the arms race in college football. For a small private school in Coral Gables, they will never have the resources to consistently keep up with the elite in college football. Like Russia, Miami may spout out here and there, but the glory will never be consistent anymore.

When you can’t even have an on-campus stadium, or where your indoor practice field is not even 100 yards it will always be tough to keep up.

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