Sea Stories/War Stories

OldDevilDawg said:
Holy shit dude. Haifa was a land mine. 14 year olds looked and acted like 25 year olds.
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Not to mention hot ass Israeli chicks patrolling the streets with Uzis and Car-15s....can't forget those either. Had a kid (musta been like 12-13) try to trade me his sister for a Zippo. Turns out his sister was an IDF chick and she beat the shit out of him all the way down the street when his buds told her what he had proposed.....hahaha
 
So I'll start with this one. When I was with 3/8, my other guy in S-2 had a girlfriend back in Indiana. She booked a trip to Lejeune to see him. She would call the barracks to talk to him and when he wasn't around, I'd take the call. So anyway, about 2 weeks before she was gonna make the trip, they got in a pissing match. She made the trip anyway. I met her at the motel.

Here's the fun part. I was dating a Navy dental chic at the time. I go to her place one night and she tells me that she has Chlamydia and gives me meds. So anyway, I tell my counterpart about his "Ex" hitting me up and he approves of me and her as long as I don't take the meds. Just so I give her the "STD". I'll never know if she got the chlamydia, but I do know she got what she asked for.
 
OldDevilDawg said:
So I'll start with this one. When I was with 3/8, my other guy in S-2 had a girlfriend back in Indiana. She booked a trip to Lejeune to see him. She would call the barracks to talk to him and when he wasn't around, I'd take the call. So anyway, about 2 weeks before she was gonna make the trip, they got in a pissing match. She made the trip anyway. I met her at the motel.

Here's the fun part. I was dating a Navy dental chic at the time. I go to her place one night and she tells me that she has Chlamydia and gives me meds. So anyway, I tell my counterpart about his "Ex" hitting me up and he approves of me and her as long as I don't take the meds. Just so I give her the "STD". I'll never know if she got the chlamydia, but I do know she got what she asked for.
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All I can say to that is....hahhaha. That's some Andrew Dice Clay shit right there lol
 
It's interesting the stories one can hear. And then you go to another country and see for yourself.
March 71. Went on the Caribbean cruise. St Thomas, Virgin Islands was kinda mellow.
San Juan Puerto Rico. Oh boy that was different. That was when I was still drinking and could get rum for a dollar a gallon. Never drank rum after that had my fill.
Prostitute bars with what is called "Steel Bands". 50 gallon drums cut in different sizes and shapes and those Ricans could make em sound good.
The prostitutes. Oh man that was interesting. Take one go upstairs and do your thing. Come back down and drink some more. Some pretty hot women. It was fun for an 18 year old.
 
All I am saying is that if you need diversion therapy to end your love for Star Trek, go to Dunoon Scotland and pick up a robust, vocal Scottish woman and go to her place. In about an hour some little redheaded 5 year old shit will be slapping you on the back and screaming with the voice of Scotty, "Get off my mum ... you are hurting my mum".
 
So there I was. As the highest ASVAB score, I was given the responsibility for taking care of the records of every USMC recruit that left the MEPS in J-Ville with me, headed to Parris Island. We rode AmTrac to Charleston, SC. AmTrac has a Bar car. So We commenced to getting drunk heading to PI. We had a couple of WM recruits with us. Game on. So when we get off the train in Charleston, me and one of the WM recruits hit the woods for some extra-curricular activity. The Staff Sgt that came to pick us up in the van lost his shit when me and her were nowhere to be found when he showed up. It also didn't go over well that I had left everybody's records unattended on a bench outside of the train station. That was the beginning of my career in the Corps. Sex, booze, and being a smartass. That explains me in a nutshell.
 
OldDevilDawg said:
So there I was. As the highest ASVAB score, I was given the responsibility for taking care of the records of every USMC recruit that left the MEPS in J-Ville with me, headed to Parris Island. We rode AmTrac to Charleston, SC. AmTrac has a Bar car. So We commenced to getting drunk heading to PI. We had a couple of WM recruits with us. Game on. So when we get off the train in Charleston, me and one of the WM recruits hit the woods for some extra-curricular activity. The Staff Sgt that came to pick us up in the van lost his shit when me and her were nowhere to be found when he showed up. It also didn't go over well that I had left everybody's records unattended on a bench outside of the train station. That was the beginning of my career in the Corps. Sex, booze, and being a smartass. That explains me in a nutshell.
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Sounds VERY Marine-ish lol

I shipped from that exact same MEPS station and rode the train to Charleston then sat in some detention room in the Charleston airport until we got enough recruits there and it got late enough in the night to head on to the Island. But I managed to do it without pissing of any active duty Marines....that would come later in boot camp lol
 
OldDevilDawg said:
So there I was. As the highest ASVAB score, I was given the responsibility for taking care of the records of every USMC recruit that left the MEPS in J-Ville with me, headed to Parris Island. We rode AmTrac to Charleston, SC. AmTrac has a Bar car. So We commenced to getting drunk heading to PI. We had a couple of WM recruits with us. Game on. So when we get off the train in Charleston, me and one of the WM recruits hit the woods for some extra-curricular activity. The Staff Sgt that came to pick us up in the van lost his shit when me and her were nowhere to be found when he showed up. It also didn't go over well that I had left everybody's records unattended on a bench outside of the train station. That was the beginning of my career in the Corps. Sex, booze, and being a smartass. That explains me in a nutshell.
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Why yes, yes it does... :) ...
 
Ok, here is a “sea story”

I had a married couple out on the boat, we were amberjack fishing.

They had been drinking a few beers and having fun.

Anyhow, the lady had hooked one and was having a difficult time fighting the fish. I mean, she is really struggling and all of a sudden one of her boobs pops out of her bikini.

I said to the deckhand, who was young and green, “Just don’t stand there, give her a hand” meaning for him to take the rod out of her hands so she could readjust herself.

Instead of doing that, he goes to tucking her boob back into her bikini top for her.

Luckily her husband was very cool and just busted out laughing.

I still get a kick out of that.
 
Speaking of boobs. Got dispatched to a 911 hang up call. Show up with my partner and find that it came from a second story apartment. Get to the front door and find no signs of forced entry and don't hear anything coming from inside, so we knock. We get no answer at the door but we still need to make sure things are ok inside.

Look around and see that on the balcony of this second story apartment is a glass sliding door. The only way to get to this door is to climb a downstairs fence and climb over the railing of the balcony. Well my partner, who was also my buddy who I had worked with in L.A before transferring to the department we were at, and maybe had a month of seniority on me says: "okay boot, looks like you are doing some climbing."

So I do the climb to the second story balcony and look through the sliding door and see two young adult women topless, looking at themselves in the mirror while touching themselves. Well my partner down below ask if I see anything and I tell him what I am observing. I have never seen anyone climb up to a second story balcony so fast. I don't think I was finished telling him what was going on before I see him standing next me looking through the sliding door.

We eventually got their attention and of course they claim to have no idea how their phone miraculously dialed 911 on its own.
 
All I am saying about boobs is that somewhere there is an 8mm film of me shaved hairless from head to toe, strip dancing to Eye of the Tiger, wearing a terrycloth bikini with one gallon zip lock bags full of grease duct taped to my chest for boobs ... btw my nips were whole pencil erasers glued to the bags ... with a vajayjay made of two pounds of putty and a full pubis of hair from my shaved chest, legs and pubic region. It made our Yeoman choke on an M&M and puke on our Skipper.
 
batchaps4me said:
All I am saying about boobs is that somewhere there is an 8mm film of me shaved hairless from head to toe, strip dancing to Eye of the Tiger, wearing a terrycloth bikini with one gallon zip lock bags full of grease duct taped to my chest for boobs ... btw my nips were whole pencil erasers glued to the bags ... with a vajayjay made of two pounds of putty and a full pubis of hair from my shaved chest, legs and pubic region. It made our Yeoman choke on an M&M and puke on our Skipper.
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....it just moved...
 
MarineUKFan said:
So, we show up in Ramadi Iraq in 2004 and our HMMWVs we had were severely lacking in armor. We link up with an infantry unit to make a vehicle movement/patrol through the middle of Ramadi (that place was like the wild west...at best). They asked me, "where are your vehicles?" and I pointed them out. They said, and I quote, "Are you REALLY going to drive through the middle of Ramadi in THOSE??" I said, well, that's all we have lol. So, off we go and as soon as those jokers saw our thin-skinned vehicles (2 of them) they opened up on us like we just did something bad. Shot out the radiator in my second vehicle and all that, but the funniest thing was we were all ducking and trying to get as small as we could and my driver (love that dude) was laughing his ass off at how the civilians were scrambling to get off the sidewalks. That was my first "contact" in my career and that guy helped me get through it with a laugh......although those fuckers shot clean through my pack that was in the back of the truck and ruined my goretex.
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Sitting in a bar in Dallas taking all these in,….hilarious and much appreciation! Thank you for this, my 1SG’s safety brief was simply “if yer gonna drink and drive, use a condom”. Props to you for highlighting the High Mobility Multi-purpose Wheeled Vehicle too!
 
MarineUKFan said:
Anybody hit port in Haifa? Good times there back in the day.........
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USN (83-87) RM2 Boot n school in San Diego 1 year, sea duty USS Fahrion (FFG-22) Mayport Florida for 3 years -

we stopped in Haifa once for 3 nights, I remember there being a big hill or mountain, the bottom by the docks was sorta rough, and the higher up you went the nicer it became, a couple of buds and I went to the top to hit a restaurant, I remember seeing young men and women in civilian clothes apparently on dates carrying automatic (military) weapons.
while eating, an older lady at the table next to us struck up a conversation by asking where we were from, as we were talking this very drunk older guy started cussing us out and saying shit about being fucking americans, the lady said dont mind him, hes from Finland, He came toward us still cussing and I hit him hard in the nose, he went down, another young couple a few tables away with weapons, got up and both drug the guy out, the manager offered us a bottle of wine and we continued eating and chatting with the lady from the table next to us,,
 
batchaps4me said:
All I am saying is that if you need diversion therapy to end your love for Star Trek, go to Dunoon Scotland and pick up a robust, vocal Scottish woman and go to her place. In about an hour some little redheaded 5 year old shit will be slapping you on the back and screaming with the voice of Scotty, "Get off my mum ... you are hurting my mum".
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This made me remember a time in Rota, Spain, we got liberty one afternoon and the "town" was on a big dirt street, in the middle was a large hut with a guy cooking fried rice in the middle and it was open on all four sides with bar stools around and people eating, both sides of the street were lined with bars with names like American bar, or chicago bar, or LA BAR, etc.. it became night and we had gone in a bunch of the bars and I had eaten at least twice at the Rice hut,, I had to pee and walked off the main road and while peeing, a lady walked by carrying a bag of groceries, I said, hey, I want some pussy, she took me by the hand and led me into a hut, shack, part cardboard apartment, as we walked in, there were two small kids playing in the front room, she sat the groceries down and walked me into another corner with a bed (no walls), she pulled her pants down and bent over the bed, I did my business from behind and when I got done, I handed here twelve american dollars, she pointed to the door, as I was walking out one of the kids who saw the whole thing, thanked me.
 
Bama Believer said:
This made me remember a time in Rota, Spain, we got liberty one afternoon and the "town" was on a big dirt street, in the middle was a large hut with a guy cooking fried rice in the middle and it was open on all four sides with bar stools around and people eating, both sides of the street were lined with bars with names like American bar, or chicago bar, or LA BAR, etc.. it became night and we had gone in a bunch of the bars and I had eaten at least twice at the Rice hut,, I had to pee and walked off the main road and while peeing, a lady walked by carrying a bag of groceries, I said, hey, I want some pussy, she took me by the hand and led me into a hut, shack, part cardboard apartment, as we walked in, there were two small kids playing in the front room, she sat the groceries down and walked me into another corner with a bed (no walls), she pulled her pants down and bent over the bed, I did my business from behind and when I got done, I handed here twelve american dollars, she pointed to the door, as I was walking out one of the kids who saw the whole thing, thanked me.
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My Dad was in the Navy during the Korean War and used to tell stories about the Korean and Japanese cultures. Apparently he would give a few bucks to a woman and she would take him back to her parents open floor home and he would bang the daughter as the mother was cleaning/pressing his uniform and the Dad being in the same room. I don't think I could preform with that particular audience.
 
Last time I was deployed to Okinawa, we did an exercise in Seoul, Korea. One night at the E-club on base one of my buddies won a $75 jackpot on a slot machine after the cashout counter had closed. So he took his sack full of quarters out into town and paid for a piece of ass with said quarters. I watched as he counted out $60 worth. The look on her face was insane.
 
OldDevilDawg said:
Last time I was deployed to Okinawa, we did an exercise in Seoul, Korea. One night at the E-club on base one of my buddies won a $75 jackpot on a slot machine after the cashout counter had closed. So he took his sack full of quarters out into town and paid for a piece of ass with said quarters. I watched as he counted out $60 worth. The look on her face was insane.
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Guarantee you she never had ANY intention of turning that shit down though lol
 
@OldDevilDawg .... We were on an extended mission with Recon Bn to the south of Fallujah and we set up a firm base in a really small town (we called it Ferris Town) that was built by the Saddam regime as a kind of getaway for officers and other bigger wigs. We occupied a school compound and were sending out patrols and such. Me and my guys, we were doing our thing (you're familiar with what kinda stuff we did I think) and I just happened to be off watch and walked over to the north side hallway of the school building to see what was going on in the market across the street. While I was watching the market, a sentry of our supported unit was walking right outside the compound wall from my right to left toward the entry point which was guarded by more guys from our supported unit when everything kinda went black. I finally (probably just a second or two from that) raised my head and saw blood dripping down from my noggin onto the floor and my boots. Then I looked up at the entry way of the area I was standing in and saw a pile of guts sliding down the outer wall. Turns out it was a suicide vehicle bomber and me and one other of my guys are the only ones that took any shrapnel. Mine was right over my right eye and I'm convinced if I had been wearing my eye protection it would have diverted that shit right into my eye. As it turned out, we had some great corpsmen and the battalion surgeon out with us and they just stitched me up on site and no medevac or anything. The sentrys at the ECP and the roving guard walking right toward where the dumbass blew himself up? Unscathed thankfully. The only one who died that day was the one who's guts I saw sliding down the wall and who's torso they found on the roof of the school. There ya go,, bro.
 
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